Ambition

For the longest time, I`m not sure what this word means. Even until now. I remembered I wanted to be an architech when I was 6 years old, then change to an engineer when the only thing I knew how to draw is stick figures. (my art totaly suck, even after an attempt to go for art class).

So here I am, taking up Mechanical Engineering. A lot of my friends`s parents, and even my very own parents, thinks highly of me, being able to choose what I want to do from the very start. Of cuz, what they didn`t know is that I decide them with coin tosses.

I remembered taking countless career test, and I ticked all those that matters to me. The result was everything, from artist-doctor. Then I pick all engineering related, and of cuz, it says I should become an engineer. (I`m so suprised!! <--- sarcasticly).

The sense of guilt hit me during the interview for scholarship, when someone asked, why do you want to take Mechanical. I can`t really say I fliped a coin, can I? So I bullshited a lot of stuff, and naturally, they`re impressed.

In fact, I can take any course, do any field (except for arts/designing) and I can self justify why that course is best for me. While I can convince the world, I can`t convince myself. Again, what do I want really? save the world? make it a better place? even rappers say they do.

Can I really contribute to the society? or just another person on earth, wasting it`s precious resources.

This space is my simple escape from the harsh reality. Expect lots of random rants and whining apart from the daily reporting of things going I`m going through.

Take nothing seriously, leave comments, or just a simple hi. The world is getting smaller by the day, why not know each other now. Have fun ya all.

Regards,
Alex