Monkey Walk

This`s what you call it,when you see monkeys, walking on the electric cabel, one after another. There`s about 5-8 or them. As if like marching, they came from the forest and invaded Taman Dahlia. My friends quickly secure his home by locking all the windows and doors.

After the collection ends at about 1. We (the Care Club gang) had lunch at Heritage and then proceed to Makota Parade to catch a movie. Wanted to watch the new Bond, but tickets sold out less than 5 minutes before our turn.

We watch Battle of Wits instead. It was a great movie. Why is it so? Apart from all the actions and drama; it`s realistic. The battle plan, the story line, the cruelty of those times. It got me thinking. One of the things that really resonate is whether is it worth helping people. I remember Siew telling me the same thing. Is it even worth helping people and saving people. Does people even deserve to be saved?

In the movie; this guy helped to defend a country. Without motif, without agenda. He just had one teaching; which is to promote universal love. That`s why he goes city to city to defend them from being invaded. But doing so, the city defended. The enemy suffers. Yet, the enemies are still humans, and they perish. Even after all this, the king in the city he defended, got jealous of his popularity and wisdom, decided to kill him and all those that supports him. He then escapes while even more people died under the king of the city he tried to protect. And after 5 years, the city was taken again. At the end of the day, the question to be answer is this; is it even worth protecting some one. If you were a doctor; you treat the enemies, the enemy kill even more of you own people. Don`t these people`s blood stain your hands too.

Ultimately, by doing charity, or so-called save the world; it`s none other than self-serving. People just want to live a life with no regrets. People want to live saying that I`ve done my part and help other people. Whether it really change the world or not, it doesn`t really matter anymore. I`m beginning to believe, no matter what you do, the world will not be a better place. At most, you`ll probably relieve yourself and your conscience.

To be frank, I`m so tired that I really don`t feel like doing anything anymore. I want to let go of everything, just for a week. Let go of my aim in life, let go of my ideals, let go debating, let go charity, let go chess, let go games, let go examinations. I want to be free... I want to sleep... Do whatever I want. Do not think about tomrorow. Do not think about what`s right or wrong. Just wander around, aimlessly with no worries and no commitment.

But life will never be like that. Not now, not ever. My conscience will not allow it. I remember I use to read a article somewhere. It says, Life have so much of worries, that you won`t have time to remember the past and worry about tomororw. Just focus on today. Tomorrrow will have its own problems. Some one told be to take things one by one. That`s what I`m doing; and that`s why I`m also tired. There`s always something in my mind. Something that`s waiting to be done. Something that I`ve must have forgotten.

I now remember when I`ve once escape all of this. 3 years ago, during confirmation camp (church camp), my lecturer ask us to leave everything behind.. just come with some cloth and yourself. Ur not even allowed to bring a hp. Those 2 days are probably the most peaceful time I`ve had. I just sit down quietly at the church... Seconds turns into minutes. Minutes turns into hours. Times fly.. and I don`t mind it at all.

Maybe, I should take another retreat. Just to escape everything. Maybe that will help me get running again. For now, I fell, and I`m reluctant to get up.

This space is my simple escape from the harsh reality. Expect lots of random rants and whining apart from the daily reporting of things going I`m going through.

Take nothing seriously, leave comments, or just a simple hi. The world is getting smaller by the day, why not know each other now. Have fun ya all.