Leaving for Penang

It`s been quite some time since I visited Penang. I`ve been quite keen to go there again. One of the most obvious reason being the food :)

Will be leaving tomorrow for the Achery Intervarsity in USM. Just can`t wait to eat. The only problem is, I`m out of cash :( woo.. donations pls.. hee
I do hope I`ll get some pictures to update. Meawhile, I just receive pictures of the Phillippines from Melanie`s camerra. Anyone wants to see it?

Monkey Walk


This`s what you call it,when you see monkeys, walking on the electric cabel, one after another. There`s about 5-8 or them. As if like marching, they came from the forest and invaded Taman Dahlia. My friends quickly secure his home by locking all the windows and doors.

After the collection ends at about 1. We (the Care Club gang) had lunch at Heritage and then proceed to Makota Parade to catch a movie. Wanted to watch the new Bond, but tickets sold out less than 5 minutes before our turn.

We watch Battle of Wits instead. It was a great movie. Why is it so? Apart from all the actions and drama; it`s realistic. The battle plan, the story line, the cruelty of those times. It got me thinking. One of the things that really resonate is whether is it worth helping people. I remember Siew telling me the same thing. Is it even worth helping people and saving people. Does people even deserve to be saved?

In the movie; this guy helped to defend a country. Without motif, without agenda. He just had one teaching; which is to promote universal love. That`s why he goes city to city to defend them from being invaded. But doing so, the city defended. The enemy suffers. Yet, the enemies are still humans, and they perish. Even after all this, the king in the city he defended, got jealous of his popularity and wisdom, decided to kill him and all those that supports him. He then escapes while even more people died under the king of the city he tried to protect. And after 5 years, the city was taken again. At the end of the day, the question to be answer is this; is it even worth protecting some one. If you were a doctor; you treat the enemies, the enemy kill even more of you own people. Don`t these people`s blood stain your hands too.

Ultimately, by doing charity, or so-called save the world; it`s none other than self-serving. People just want to live a life with no regrets. People want to live saying that I`ve done my part and help other people. Whether it really change the world or not, it doesn`t really matter anymore. I`m beginning to believe, no matter what you do, the world will not be a better place. At most, you`ll probably relieve yourself and your conscience.

To be frank, I`m so tired that I really don`t feel like doing anything anymore. I want to let go of everything, just for a week. Let go of my aim in life, let go of my ideals, let go debating, let go charity, let go chess, let go games, let go examinations. I want to be free... I want to sleep... Do whatever I want. Do not think about tomrorow. Do not think about what`s right or wrong. Just wander around, aimlessly with no worries and no commitment.

But life will never be like that. Not now, not ever. My conscience will not allow it. I remember I use to read a article somewhere. It says, Life have so much of worries, that you won`t have time to remember the past and worry about tomororw. Just focus on today. Tomorrrow will have its own problems. Some one told be to take things one by one. That`s what I`m doing; and that`s why I`m also tired. There`s always something in my mind. Something that`s waiting to be done. Something that I`ve must have forgotten.

I now remember when I`ve once escape all of this. 3 years ago, during confirmation camp (church camp), my lecturer ask us to leave everything behind.. just come with some cloth and yourself. Ur not even allowed to bring a hp. Those 2 days are probably the most peaceful time I`ve had. I just sit down quietly at the church... Seconds turns into minutes. Minutes turns into hours. Times fly.. and I don`t mind it at all.

Maybe, I should take another retreat. Just to escape everything. Maybe that will help me get running again. For now, I fell, and I`m reluctant to get up.

Things to be done.

Sometimes, I`ve to much things in my head; I felt like they all are on the verge of bursting out. Literally. I sleep too little, there is so little time, and there is so many things to be done.

I`ve yet to ;

1) Inform all my chess members of the clubs`s plan this semester.
2) Finish up my Engineering Grapics Assignment.
3) Malaysian Studies Assignment
4) Vist CITS to find out the my wireless status
5) Go to Finance to settle scholarship complications.
6) Letter from FIST, to allow us to use it`s corridor for the Charity Event.
7) Decalre usage of electrical appliances to FMD.
8) Plan for MMU Chess open.
9) Practice wushu. (lag 2 months)
10) Remeber to collect items from various lecturers.
11) Decide whether to go USM for Achery or MMU cyber for Debate.
12) Study for Exam next week.

But above all.. I really want to play games.. :(

The old disease.

It has strike back. The days with no peaceful sleep. The days with black eyes and fatigue. The days where I lock myself in the room. The days of MMORPG is back.

And it`s RO again. I remember I used to skip school at play 20 hours a day. I tried so hard to leave the game. But, now I`m back in. I suppose I`ll control myself this time. I`m pretty sure now I`ll still go to class; after all, I have a laptop with me.

What worries me is that I`ll bring the laptop and play game at class. Seeing how boring class is, I probabbly will. Good luck, exams soon :) Alex stop playing!

Piorities

With so many events coming up, I have to sacrifice some. I really want to go all of them. And some of the best events are up this weekend. All in this weekend.

1) Watersports having a camp at Pulau Besar. It would be really nice, if I have friends to go with, and time to spare. To be fair, I knew some one who ask me to go... the only problem is I can`t.

2) Cyber Debate Camp. Gosh, I can`t believe I`m going to miss this one. This is horrible... I`m sure they`re going to finish all the alcohol which they bought in the Phillippines.

3) Wushu Training Camp. It`s more like, lets go together to do beach and kick some ass kind of trip. Kick ass and in really kicking. I`m not so sure if they`re not out of their mind, but last I heard is they really plan to storm the beach and practice wushu there. Something like you see in the endings of those Wong Fei Hong movies.

The reason why I can`t go to any of them. I had to go around Bukit Beruang to collect stuff for donation this weekend. I wanted to run away, but I can`t cuz I`m the one that suggest this activity and currently now the director. Ish...... Menyesal.. but what can I do... responsibility is responsibility. Hopefully it`ll turn out great :) I`m sure we can have fun in our own ways....

I want a laptop.

I`m shopping for a laptop now. Why? Because class are extremely bored. Really really really bored. I`m always sitting at the corner, alone, staring and wondering why am I still in class, in every lecture.

A more logical excuse will be that I want to read my lecturer notes in my laptop because it`s too expensive and too much of a hassle to print them. Though of course, this excuse doesn`t not worth rm 3000. So I guess, the first reasons holds more truth.

Anyway, the specs. I`m looking for ;

- at least a centrino with 1.8 ghz or better.
- a decent graphic card.
- 1ghz of ram.
- 14.1 inch lcd
- no heavier than 2.5kg

That`s all. Isn`t it simple. There`s loads of notebooks that could match this spec. The only problem is that it could not match the price I`m willing to offer.. lol. I`m broke you see. I want to spend only about 2k :) Currently, I had one in mind.. will see about it. But having a laptop will be really nice :) and convinient. I could now do all my work in campus without having to run to CITS or the Library for computer.

Why I hate stupid lecturers.

Over the months, my respect for lecturers have gone down to the drains. Not all of them though. There are still a fraction of them which I held them with great respect. I`m talking about those few who sux.

To a certain extend, I don`t really mind lecturer that can`t really teach that well, but there know what there are doing. Which means, there are probably really good engineers but not a good teacher. That I can still tolerate. What piss me off is when I get lecturers, who are these so called Masters and even PHD holders, but don`t even know the basics of the subject they teach.

I always have at least one of these type of lecturer in my class every semester. They teach the class something stupid and wrong, then I`ll have to spend 10 minutes argueing that they are teaching the wrong thing. And to proof you how stupid they are, they don`t even realised their mistake after I proof to them and tell them why they are wrong. Even an average student who sits beside me understands when I go through such extend of explanation.

The lecturer will then check the answer, come back to me tomororw, say that I`m right, and do nothing about it. This whole notion pisses me off not because I want to proof that I`m smart and they are dumb. It`s the very fact that they are lecturers. That means, whatever they teach, affects 200 students in the class. Which means, they must be 100% sure of what they are teaching and make sure it`s right.

And what really really dissapoints me is that after I went through all these trouble, of making sure the lecturer teaching the class the right thing, I told my friends that the lecturers answer is wrong, here the correct working. Guess what`s their reply. They say it doesn`t matter. Because whatever the lecturer teach, if I follow him, even if it`s wrong, I can`t be penalised for it since they thought us so.

The students, they don`t care whether they are doing the right thing. They don`t even care if the theories are flawed. All they care is about passing their exams and their stupid GPA. Why am I such a fool to even make an effort to change that. Alex, you`re an idiot. Sit quietly in class from now on. Baka baka baka......

Some random post.

I believe I have rarely done this. All my post are either some reports of what I`ve done, or whines about why my life sux.

Decided to find a few pictures and randomly post it. Here goes.


This is one of my favorite pictures. Don`t you think it`s so adorable. The bear is studying, while the dog is being lazy and just lying around.


This is a board game called ... shite I can`t remember. Something to do with world domination.


This, is a marshmallow, on top of my lcd. I`ve no idea why I took this picture.

This is my another dog, thinking whether she could commit suicide if she jumps from there.


This, is a blurry picture taken by a very expensive camerra but a lousy photographer. As of now, I`m still trying to remember the name of the girl in the picture. All I remembered is that she`s cute and she took picture with me. Sigh.

Gosh.. why am I even doing this.. what a waste of time.. bleh.

Anime obsession

I`m watching too much anime. As a result, I have none to watch anymore... ish....

Maybe it`s a good thing. Last week, I spend an average 6 hours watching them. Rewatch Naruto, Ruruoni Kenshin and Full Metal Alchemist. What happen then is this, I skipped 6 hours of classes, didn`t get enough sleep, and a back ache.

There is a tiring sem. There is so much work to do. For academic, I found out that tutorials now carry marks. Means, I have to do them... and of all things, it`s Engineering Graphics. This is nightmare, I can`t freaking draw..... Maybe I`ll ask Adelene to do them for me.. .hee hee hee

What really took a toll from me is the club activities. Directing an event for Care Club for this semester and Chess Club for the next. I haven`t even really start preperation for the Open Chess Tournament yet, and I`ve been busy with Care Club. This not to mention a number of other events which I was pulled into as committee.

Sometimes I really wonder, why do I join so many things. Is it because I have no life ; ie no friends to play dota with, no friends to go out for lunch and dinner, no one to sit with in class.... that`s why I resort in joining so many activities, to seek out people who I can click with. Or is it because it`s in my nature that I just want to do everything. Or is it both?

Whatever is it, a commitment is a commitment. Since I`m in already, I shall do what I need to do, as much as I can with all my effort. I`m sure I`ll pull this through. Just settle everything.. one by one.. and everything will be ok..... I hope.

Yomae`s bday party

I thought of going to meet Claire today at Subang. It wasn`t until hours before that I was called to go Yomae`s party.

And I was thankful that I went. Not only Claire was there, lots of people which I haven`t seen for ages were there too. Ppl like, Albert, Low, Chong, Wen Yi, Vivian, Jo-n, Chermayn, Ester, Li Mei and the birthday gal herself, Yomae.

It was pretty much a girls party, with these people taking picture of everyone with everyone. The guys just sat there and watch.. and drink.



Claire and I, the one that looked like a small kid

One interesting momment of that night was the time where I was unable to recognize someone. And of all people, it`s that person.

She : Hi Alex
Me : (loudly) Eh, who`s that.
Me : ....... oh!!!!!

Damm, that was so hilarious I almost laugh to death. I`ve never thought this would happen. Oh well, I am Alex after all. Always bad at recognizing ppl.

To Melaka, and a new sem

Last semester was a horrible one. At least academic wise.

As expected, I didn`t get an A for the subject that Anal guy thought. Yet, if I follow the principle that I`ve been holding, then there is no reason for me to feel sad. For his subject, there is 3 mid term, 6 test and one final exam. That`s 10 exams in 3 months.

I`ve missed two of them, without replacement, because he refuse to give, even with valid reason and permission from him himself. But even that, it should be ok. Why I didn`t get a B. Because I didn`t do his work. Why I can still score other subject with (A+ mind you) with the same atitiude but not his? Simple.. cuz he`s anal.

Let me give you an idea what I meant. In my 10 test, I only had 2 mistake... but most of them, I got it correct. Meaning, there is no ' X ' in my paper.. But, he minus more than 20% every paper because he felt the working wasn`t enough.

Often it happens like this. The question ask you to give the force of a beam. He expect you, not only to give the force, but the draw the force, tell the direction, and give the nature of that beam. Seriously, at least if you want that, tell it in the question.

Well, no one to blame.. at least, I knew what I was doing and that should matters. Though, frankly speaking, I`m still quite sad for getting a B+. It`s been quite sometime since I`ve gotten a B, and I never like those time either.

Maybe next semester, till then, I pray that I won`t get the same lecturer again.

What happen the rest of the days....

Well, in simple words, debate`s over, loads of party, loads of alcohol, very uncomfortable sleeping night, very crampy bed, yet, very enjoyble trip.

Quite a number of things happened throughout the trip. Not all were pleasent. In fact, many were not pleasent. But for the sake of happy memories, I decided not to blog them.

Anyway, while partying on the last day of the debating championship, my friend told me that some one though I was gay. The horrible thing is, that is not the first time I`ve heard that.

In fact, a significant number of ppl had ask me the same question in the past. Damm.. do I even look gay? some say I do...

Do I act gay? some say I do also. Undeniably, I do have some traits that ought to belong to the feminist character. i.e

1) I used to enjoy talking on phone... for hours...
2) I cry a lot.. at least too much for a guy.
3) I`m emotional.. very emotional at times.

Oh well, fine what even you want to see me as. As long as I know I`m not, and Adelene of cuz, everything`s ok :) Besides.. being gays is not so bad. mwahaha.. at least I won a debate with motions involving gays.

I`m back

and I`m tired.. really tired... zzzzzzzz

This space is my simple escape from the harsh reality. Expect lots of random rants and whining apart from the daily reporting of things going I`m going through.

Take nothing seriously, leave comments, or just a simple hi. The world is getting smaller by the day, why not know each other now. Have fun ya all.

Regards,
Alex