The morning after....

Waking up in the morning now seems so much harder than usual. I got up from my bed, wash my face, brush my teeth and I don’t know what to do next. It’s like of all a sudden, I’ve just lost my direction in life. I had no one to talk to, no where to go, nothing to do, basically nothing more than just another living organism.

The moment I’ve decided to walk out of the room, I lost at least 3 quarter, if not ALL of my friends here in Malacca. The remaining one quarter didn’t help much. There either thought I was still bz in the room, so they continue their own sweet life, or they thought that finals coming so I really don’t care about you. I’m left all alone. Adelene have to go back and be a good girl at home cuz her brother is coming back…. So even she can’t accompany me.

I know what you are thinking, there is always my wife (yes.. my computer). Well, my computer is being funny with all those errors and stuff… it’s more like… your life is miserable. Let’s see whether I can make it even worst. And it did…. The internet is gone. This is my fault actually. 11 months ago when I move into this apartment, I’ve registered my comp for internet… and I got it. Then after a couple of weeks, I move my comp to SPR so that it could be at service for that board. (lending my wife away… now u understand why she’s angry.) Somewhere in the middle of the year, the management of the university requests everyone to re-register their computer and I didn’t because my comp isn’t in the apartment anymore. So, now my comp is back and well… and I’m stuck here without internet, without friends, without anyone.

Adrian didn’t seem to well either. A number of us couldn’t slept properly after that night. The scenario of injustice, betrayer, ignorance, and hatred couldn’t budge out of our mind. What more, I still have to face those people and pretend that nth ever happen, knowing that they are happy and rejoicing of what had happen. And those plans and works that we have started together. I still have to finish it even though I’m not part of it anymore. I don’t know what could be worst. I can’t avoid them but I can’t be with them. I’m stuck in the middle.. with no where to run, no where to go.

Well, to be optimistic, I try to look at the bright side. Somehow, I knew that this is what I’ve ask for. I’ve been whining a lot to God that I’ve in so much trouble and pressure that I just can’t take it anymore. Now that I’m virtually stress-free (except for the pressure in exams), I can do a lot a lot of things that I haven’t tried before. In fact… there are so many that it’s almost insanity that I’ve gave it all up just for one society.

Among them are play sports with my friends. I really wanted to play sports cuz I really love playing (apart from pc games). Now I could play badminton with my badminton club members, squash with sujj, and next years, I can be active in ping pong, tennis, badminton, archery, and so many more. I might even join back CF as I really miss sessions.

If anyone has any word of consolation.. now is the time to blurt it out.


Adel 12:09 AM  

keen.. stay strong k?? kinda worry about u le.. just tahan for few weeks more. concentrate on ur studies 1st. after exam we go kai kai then new sem, got new frens lo. and join new clubs lo. :) alwiz think the bright side. i'll alwiz support u.:)

This space is my simple escape from the harsh reality. Expect lots of random rants and whining apart from the daily reporting of things going I`m going through.

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