Lost for words

I thought I would have a lot of things to blog... after exam and all. And I had a lot in mind what I`ll write... that till I log on blogspot and suddenly, I don`t feel like blogging anymore. I`m spending my last night here in malacca b4 I head back home for the holiday. And this holidays, is not a mere break. It`s the end of my foundation year... Next year, it`s as good as I just enter.... No friends, no study mates... everyone`s gone to cyberjaya.

It`s time to start a new.. and I don`t know whether I can learn to trust new friends... after what I`ve been through this year. It`s damm damm hard to get true friends... and till today, I doubt I can count more than my fingers of who I consider real friends. Luckly I still had one that I completely trust my life with... or not I just don`t know how I get through this year.

I really wonder what holds for me next year... I have many plans at hands... half of them are thrown away cuz I`m not in those clubs anymore... half of them are yet to realised cuz I don`t know whether it`s can carry out anymore... all that remains are just a few simple plans for the only club that Yi Chong and I started.. the chess club.

I`ve counted.. it`s exactly 360 days since I step in MMU as a freshie. I would say that the experience here it way harder to comprehend that I thought to be. I have no prob adapting to the environment.. only the people... and I sure didn`t. I don`t know whether it`s me who can`t adjust to everyone... or everyone can`t adjust to me.... At a point of time, I thought I was unfriendly, then I thought I was friendly, and I thought I was over friendly... Whatever I do, it seems that I just can`t fit in.... Maybe I`m just not meant to be.

Next sem... I hope it`s all going to change.... being a hard head that I am, it`s hard to gain respect, especially from the elders... (who likes a person who always contradicts them). Another year senior means that I have less elder to be dealt with. Though this is a method of running away from the real problem, it`s the only solution I cling to. Till of cuz, I manage to find away to please everyone, without being a hypocryte and without being double face, and of cuz.. without having to betray my own conscience.

A new academic year, a new experience... but hold it... I`m still on my holidays, and I suppose to enjoy it till the very end.... Happy holidays all MMUians. For those who I won`t be seeing anymore... all the best in your future undertaking. For those who I`ve offended, I`m really sorry and I definetly doesn`t intend to do so. For those whom I can`t seems to forget, I really hope I do and get on with my life. All the best to you and me, as we journey to life and new discoveries. Cheers

This space is my simple escape from the harsh reality. Expect lots of random rants and whining apart from the daily reporting of things going I`m going through.

Take nothing seriously, leave comments, or just a simple hi. The world is getting smaller by the day, why not know each other now. Have fun ya all.

Regards,
Alex